the mess is the best

“You may encounter many defeats, but you must not be defeated. In fact, it may be necessary to encounter the defeats so you can know who you are, what you can rise from, and how you will come out of it.”- Maya Angelou

I wrote this as my Facebook status 2 years ago….I had returned from a once in a lifetime trip & was feeling defeated I think. I am sure I was feeling down & out because the trip was over & I didn’t know how to deal with my feelings and process them in a healthy way. So I am sure I was overwhelmed and wanted to remind myself not to feel defeated no matter how tough it seemed at the time.

All the things have happened to me in the last 2 years….well, ok, maybe not ALL the things, but many things have happened–growing, learning and strengthening things. Tough things. Things I don’t think I ever thought I would experience. Life is so funny- you have this idea in your head of what you think it’s all going to look like & it pretty much turns out NOTHING like you thought it would. Yes, I’m 26 and have not lived as much life as many others but my life is not quite what I had envisioned and that’s OK. I used to fight it because I wanted to have this certain image that I showed to others. I wanted it things to be “picture perfect” and guess what? NOTHING is picture perfect. EVER. Life is messy and it hurts and it makes you want to give up. It’s made me want to give up, a lot actually. But the mess has been my biggest blessing. It has made me give up the need to have that perfect image because I would rather have the experiences I’ve had to allow me to grow closer to God. I feel more confident in the person I am and who I want to be & what I want because of the mess. The good times are good, they’re wonderful, they’re great, but the tough times are when you learn the most about yourself. Being able to look back on this quote now versus where I was 2 years ago- MAN, can I see such huge growth in myself. It’s encouraging to know that when I felt really low, I would come out of that time and  be stronger and more faithful. God has taught me so much trust & how to be faithful no matter what and while I know I don’t always have it together, I know He has me. I know He’s right there with me every step of the way on my journey, no matter what mess I find myself in.