WELL. we are on to day 2 and it’s getting a bit easier. The only downside is that I can’t put up any of my new pictures of Big/Little Reveal last night. Oh well, they probably won’t be missed much anyways.
I’ve realized that part of my stress is coming from this one project I have due at the end of the semester. While we have been working on it throughout the past month and a half, I feel as though we’re really not accomplishing anything. 2 of the group members just do what they are told to do and that’s it–they do not go the extra step, which is okay because they are boys. HOWEVER. One of the other group members is about to send me over the edge. She thinks she is leading when in fact, she is not–she does useless research, does not synthesize anything she does find, but then feels the need to talk over everyone when we meet to present to our professor. I have a few issues with that and in order to get out my continued frustrations, I will share.
1. I do not enjoy being talked over when I’m trying to explain my findings.
2. I also do not enjoy a “know it all” when in fact they are not.
3. I do not appreciate being talked to and treated as if I do nothing when in fact, that member is the one who does nothing.
These are just a few of the many problems I have with this member; not to mention she doesn’t like me so when we do other activities, she just sits there and forces me to do all the work. Needless to say, I’m fed up. So on Monday, I spoke with my professor about the situation because I do not want our grade affected because she is trying to take over without doing any of the work behind it. He understood my points and offered some guidance. Unfortunately things haven’t improved and I feel like myself and another group member are going to be doing the majority of the work. Que sara’ sara’ I suppose.
On another note, my week is slowly improving. I just wish I understood why it was so horrendous but I don’t so I suppose I just have to say, again, oh well! Some things are just out of my control and I just have to keep going and the days will start to get better. I just feel exponentially stressed out and feel that nothing is going my way, when in fact that is very untrue. Things have been going my way; I just feel somewhat lost I suppose in what’s important to me and where my priorities are. I’m blogging now because I’m at work with nothing to do and this is normally when I get on Facebook and look around and waste time–but since that is gone, I have to find something else to do to occupy my time. Not easily done. THAT is for sure.
I feel so BLAHHH and I just want it to go away. I’m telling you, I need to be recentered at HOME. Not here, not South Carolina, HOME. In less than 4 weeks this will happen and I’m SO excited. Perhaps another reason I’m “blahh” is because I feel like my friend situation is off a bit–I don’t feel on track with any of my close friends; whether they be here, home, or far away. It’s just been an interesting year with that and I’m sure it’s mainly just me over anaylzing but, hey, you never know. Friendships change and evolve, I am aware but that does not mean I don’t like it or wish it to go back. But I can’t and I just have to understand and realize that.
I think this blogging to work through this funk will help me become more patient, positive, and understanding–not only about myself but also of my friends and family. I know that the way I portray myself sometimes on the outside is not how I’m feeling on the inside and so I need to be more aware of that. Ah the many life lessons to be learned when not on Facebook and working out issues through the word.
Well many more of these to come, I’m sure…