School just stinks this year. I just don’t understand why it seems so much harder than past semesters, you wouldn’t think so because I have been used to school for my whole life and it always gets more difficult yet somehow I always manage to succeed. However, this semester is totally and completely different. The work is harder, I have NO motivation, and I feel like I don’t belong at Elon anymore. I blame being abroad because that experience was such a mountain top experience and then flying down the mountain into real life has been such a huge transition that I just don’t know how to handle it.
Being able to spend time with my Florence friends has really helped but that does not help with the school work part. I feel like I’m being pulled in 1000 different directions and it just SUCKS. Also I realized that I’m really only apart of Alpha Chi and while that is wonderful, I decided I need to be a part of more groups at Elon to make the most of it. So I wavered back and forth about rushing AKPsi but I just realized it wasn’t for me and that the time and money I would put into it wouldn’t give me enough back from the organization itself. So I decided to join SHRM, Society for Human Resource Management, which will help me so much more if I want to do Human Resource stuff instead. Also, I was debating about becoming an accounting major and from talking to one of my professors, I wouldn’t be done by May 2012 and I want to graduate with my friends. So there went that idea so I think I’ll be an accounting minor instead which has the potential to help me in the long run anyways.
School and life is just so different here than it was in Italy and I know that is to be expected and is the reality of the situation but it still brings so much stress to my life. I feel like I’m undergoing an identity crisis so to speak and that is adding to my stress. Life in Florence was just such a freeing experience where stress was so far from my mind and I feel like I could truly be myself. Perhaps if I can just let things go and not worry so much about my desires and goals, the stress will leave and I’ll have some peace of mind.
Working on it a little at a time…