patience. patience. patience.

is it too much to ask to have someone to talk to constantly and about anything without that person getting tired of it and annoyed with you? my answer would be YES it is too much to ask because it can never happen. people expect too much from others and take advantage of friendships and relationships to release things aggravation and frustrations and expect them to just listen no matter what.  people believe their own issues top everyone else’s and that’s stupid because you can’t think that. relationships are about give and take and you can’t keep taking without giving a little and you can’t expect friends to just sit back and listen to you complain and moan about whatever is going on without getting tired of it eventually.  you must understand that people get tired of listening to the same things over and over again.

i myself am included in this expectation and i’m sure it’s just because of our human nature. while it’s frustrating when someone doesn’t want to hear about our problems, can we really blame them?  their place in life may be that they can’t fully understand or help you or it just may be that they don’t care anymore.  when you complain and complain (myself included) over and over, friends get tired of listening to it and they just need a break.  it’s not that they don’t care about you…they just don’t want to hear the same thing AGAIN.  it’s truly hard to understand but when i look at it from the other side, i really see how annoying it can be.

on that note, it’s nice to be separated from the ‘real world’ a bit.  i have been on vacation for like 3 days now and i haven’t had much communication with anyone from home or school, other than a few facebook posts or chats, and it’s actually been really nice.  while i’ve escaped to my room and upstairs to watch tv or be alone, i like not having to keep up conversations or saying stuff that you feel like an idiot for later.

there have been those times, however, where i find myself getting so ansi about stuff that i just HAVE to say something when i regret it later.  but i’m a person who has to vent and talk things out to certain people to feel better.  or i just need the attention to know that someone out there is thinking about me, anyways, my patience totally lacks and i give in and text or email or facebook and then say to myself later, “well that was DUMB!” it’s just so hard sometimes to be patient and i struggle so much with it. it’s frustrating because i want to change so bad and be this positive person that people can see just by looking at me.

i wish this blog had a little more of a positive, happy twist to it; but unfortunately this is how i am feeling right now and typing things out really helps me feel better so this is definitely raw and real katie for the time.  it’ll change by tomorrow i know because i already feel a bit better.

sleep well all.

Advertisements

this is the good life.

I’m 20 years young and I have had so many wonderful experiences in my life that I have no reason but to say “this is the good life”. 

I really realized this when my dear friend, Theen, came to visit me at Elon.  She got to meet my friends, some in person, some over skype, and saw how I live here. It’s so wonderful because I haven’t had an opportunity to show my friends from home how I live here.  Anyways, I just saw through showing her my life how great my life is and that I need to be thankful for it.  Not everyone has the opportunity to go to a school far from home and really grow as a person, get stronger, and figure things out about themselves at 20.  I believe that I have done this in some ways and it’s because I came to Elon. 

Now, you would have never heard me talk about Elon in a positive light a year ago.   When I left Elon in December, I was fine if I never returned.  I really had no friends and I just didn’t like it at all.  However, due to choices I made, I found really good friends and was able to find my “niche” so to speak.  My friends grew and helped me deal with problems that I would have relied on my friends at home to help me with.  Then when I went to Italy, things changed even more.  I was totally out of my comfort zone with only a few people I knew and survived and grew even more as a person. 

Florence Italy is one of the most amazing places I’ve ever visited and would absolutely love to go back there one day and be able to live that life again.  How could I complain about my life when I’ve been able to travel to Europe 4 times and actually LIVE there for 3 months?! And I have wonderful friends at home and at school.  And I love school and what my major is. And my job! Man, there is nothing I should complain about.

I don’t know why I’m so happy and thrilled today and just kind of “ahhhh” ecstatic.  But I think that because I’ve been working on this attitude change that it’s helping me appreciate things in life more.  Life is short and there is no room for extra negativity and sourness.  We should all be thankful for our lives and try to find the good in it because otherwise, I feel like we just mope and dwell on stuff that is so minor that it could ruin a day or even a lifetime. 

So in hopes that I continue this outlook, I’m going to take a deep breath, smile, and soak in all that life has to offer and that God has given me. 

this really is the good life.

home is where the heart is.

Ah St. Charles. How I’ve missed this wonderful place in the middle of the country.  My house, my dogs, my family, my friends, everything about St. Charles I’ve missed greatly.  I didn’t really realize how much home meant to me and how I can truly regroup and achieve this outlook that helps me recenter.  I don’t even have to do anything except be home and spend time with those I’m closest with and just feel like a totally new person–or more really like myself.  It’s refreshing.

I’ve had a wonderful time catching up with Carlee and old friends because it’s been a while since I’ve gotten to sit down and talk to them and reminisce about old times–high school, grade school, silly things we did and said and just laugh.  I didn’t realize how much I’ve missed my friends who know me, who I trust, and who will tell me the truth.  It has been great because I’ve needed to have those conversations about life and my summer.

I feel ready to go back to Elon and start the new year with a great outlook and a strong base supporting me from good old St. Charles.

Junior year here I come!